More Than A Parent E001: Our Why w/ Caz Gaddis
Meet Caz (aka me)!
Hi, I’m Caz! I am a mom of two mini-humans under two. They are my greatest personal development experience,. Ha!I am an ICF-accredited Certified Professional Coach specializing in Core Energy Coaching.I’ve earned a Masters in Social Media Marketing from the University of Florida and a Bachelor of Arts in Public Relations from Florida Gulf Coast University. When I’m not speaking, coaching, or consulting- I’m creating or connecting. This can take many forms including hanging out with humans, attending Toastmasters, or crafting visual stories alongside my husband, Les, through our video production company, Gaddis Visuals.
In this episode…
>> You’ll learn about my “why” for this podcast.
>> And, hopefully, see why I call this intro episode “Our Why”.
>> Hear what to expect from this podcast and what’s in it for you.
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00:00 Welcome to more than a parent of podcast exploring who we are and what we want outside of being a parent so we can create an integrated lifestyle with impact both in and out of our homes. I’m Caz Gaddis and I invite you to join me to be your more live here and I am so very stoked to welcome you to the first episode of more than a parent. Uh, I’m Caz as you heard from the intro and I am just super excited to see what evolves from this and what we evolve from as we go on this journey together through this podcast. I am on very limited sleep. I have a 17 day old, his name is Quest and I have a 19 month old. Her name is Skylyn and between infant needs, newborn needs, right. Um, of feeding every two to three hours and then toddler needs.
01:02 I am personally in need of more sleep. So we’re going to, um, go through this in a very semi-simple way, as simple as I can go right now, which is like the who, what, when, and where’s I’m wise of this podcast. And, um, how I really ultimately really want to serve you, really want to connect to you and empower you forward to being More Than A Parent. Um, so let’s start with who, like who am I, why am I here? Why are you listening to me? I’m, I don’t know why you’re listening to me, but, um, I can tell you a little bit about my who. So I live in Dallas. I’ve been here for about 10 years. My husband is a filmmaker, his name is Les, and he also has a podcast, FYI in case anyone you know is into filmmaking. It’s called capturing light.
01:49 Um, and it’s really cool. He has some really awesome director of photographies, uh, coming on there. I think I said that wrong. Director of photography professionals. There you go. We’ll just say it like that. Anyways, I am, I’ve been working alongside him over the last nine years and I’m dabbled in video production with him, but, so we live here in Dallas. We have a video production company and these two kiddos and, uh, some for babies as well. So as far as where, um, I’m from what I identify with, which by the way, I love connecting with people about where they’re from and their cultures. Um, I am half Dominican, half German. I’m originally from Queens, New York from Corona, shout out specifically. And um, a couple of things that I love that, um, would be Austin too if we connect with in the future on is I love charcuterie boards, which by the way, I did not know what a charcuterie board was until a couple years ago, but I always loved them.
02:45 Basically it’s meat and salami and breads and olives and good stuff. I’m of course accompanied with wine and chocolate makes the world go round. So I love those and I love dancing and I’m creating, I love anything from brainstorming to, you know, pin Spiration by the way, did not say perspiration said pin-inspiration as in like inspirations from Pinterest. Yeah. Anyway. Um, although I do side note and sorry, TMI, but I do man sweat sometimes when I dance. So anyways, moving forward, um, and I also love, um, connection. So this is why we’re here. This is why I’m here with you today is I love real, relatable, raw, deep conversations, um, versus a surface level stuff. So, um, I think that so much comes out when we can just all be human and appreciate that human experience that we’re in. So anyway, that’s my “Who”. Hello, Hello.
03:44 Um, as far as my why, um, why this podcast is, um, it goes really deep. It goes really way back from me way back. Um, I was born in 1987 and yes, the, I know I’m starting there, but it started there as well. Um, my parents had me in Dominican Republic. They’re both entrepreneurs and they still live there. Um, they’re separate, but they live on the same Island and the Island seems to survive them. So that’s exciting. Um, so, uh, growing up I was raised by my grandparents in Queens and my parents, um, you know, continued on with their business responsibilities that as a child made me feel regardless of the circumstances and the details that I’ll spare us all from. Because of course, you know, it gets muddled between what, you know, a person says vs the other. But the point of it all and for this podcast is that I felt that my parents chose business over me because again, I was raised since three months old by my grandparents.
04:47 At the end of the day, I know that everyone did the best that they could and I am Uber grateful for my grandparents and their sacrifice. Um, but it was really rough. Um, I literally remember there was this time I was around seven or eight and I ran out to the back yard that we had and they had these Goodyear blimps that would pass by over head and they would record capture, uh, the, the city, the neighborhoods, um, between Yankee games or something like that. I, I’m a little fuzzy on the details there, but I remember running out and I remember waving my hands up and looking at the blimp and shouting, knowing that they couldn’t hear me, but I was hoping that they could see me because deep down in this weird way, that is perfect because I was a kid and that’s where I was at. I felt like I was adopted.
05:38 I did not understand why I wasn’t with my parents. I had issues connecting with why my family looked different than other people’s families, right, than other kids families. I had to mid 70 year olds, grandparents raising me and again were super awesome. Um, but I didn’t have the activity and the engagement that I felt other kids were getting. And so that feeling of abandonment of, of um, not belonging and of, of hoping that apparently someone from watching the Goodyear blimp footage would realize that I was their kid and would come and scoop me up was, you know, definitely just weird. Um, but it, that’s how how hurt I was as a kid. And all of this that I just shared, I did not know how to put that into words back then. But what it did to me and what it’s done for me is it made me realize I was living most of my life up to now in a duality literally up until 2017 that I felt like it was either a this or that either you could have kids or you could have the career or the success or the business that you’re wanting, the impact that you’re wanting.
06:55 And guys that is just some bull because I strongly believe in, I am always looking for examples of what is possible and I am currently living what it is that I wanted to do and wanted to have, which is a mix of both. There is no rule that says one or the other. That was just a limiting belief that I was allowing myself to believe, right? Because of past experiences, but it wasn’t necessarily based on reality. So that’s a big freaking why as to this podcast because I truly believe that you can be an awesome present parent and you can also be do and have all the things that are in your heart. There is no reason to have to limit yourself or, or feel limited. And on the side note limitations, um, are something that really irks me in a way that, um, I love working on things that I feel limited by and helping others feel unlimited by those things as well that they’re going through.
07:56 So anyway, that’s a big why that we’re here today, um, into that whole feeling limited at the time, back in 2017, I was just about to turn 30 and my husband had asked me, you know, every now and then, um, you know, when we wanted to have kids and he knew that I wasn’t necessarily all a hundred percent in for it, but, um, you know, he said we could talk about it a few years later and kind of revisit it and such. So, uh, on my 30th birthday, my husband comes to me and he goes, Hey, so you know, kids like, let’s do this. Let’s, let’s have a, let’s have a kid this year. And I’m looking at him, I’m like, dude knows, it’s like my birthday, right? Like, how dare he on the day that I’m supposed to be, you know, super selfish and all about me talking about having a kid.
08:45 It’s my day. So anyway, so we had a conversation, we actually had an argument, um, but then we had a conversation around it and we decided to um, go and, and start trying to have kids that same month, which was March of 2017. I started my journey into becoming a certified professional coach. Um, and so I went through this first weekend intensive of my coaching program and, um, fear came up for me around having kids and also challenges with trust, trusting myself, trusting others and, and so on. And so I was able to really dig into those pieces. And, um, then funny at the end of that month, I went to an ashram where the head Yogi told me that I was at a, have a kid soon. So needless to say, there was a lot of kid conversations. I was kind of super freaked out. And then I’m out of nowhere told by a Yogi that I’m going to have a kid soon.
09:44 So guess what? Within a month. I did not have the kid, but we conceived that would be super progress, right? Super fast. So anyway, so that whole journey and the journey till now has a lot of nuggets that I want to share with you and want to have other people join us and share their experiences and their nuggets as well. Um, what has been one of the most beautiful experiences for me has been this connection to other moms. I’ve attracted this beautiful group of women who are also moms now or they were becoming moms at the same time as I was actually. And we were all in this human experience together. We were, um, in the messy, the beautiful chaos of the becoming a mom, the becoming of a, of a parent, um, stutter, right? Um, of becoming of a parent. But also there was like this magical unbecoming and refiguring out who it is that we wanted to show up as and what our life would look like.
10:51 And being able to connect to those moms and see them in their life, see them, how they were in their businesses and just how they were showing up in general was so motivating to me. And, um, I, I don’t think that everyone has a chance to experience that. That’s another reason for more than a parent is I want us to be able to tap on to each other and get empowerment right from listening, from, from hearing examples of others that are doing it, that are being at, because you’re freaking worth it, right? Like there’s no other, because it’s because you’re it and you’re worth it. That’s why we’re here. Um, I’ve learned a lot of different things and the biggest thing that I wanted to share in this episode is that we’re only limited by what we see as a limited, as, as, as a limit -tation.. there you go.
11:44 Let me try that one more time. We’re only limited by what we see as a limitation. So all these things that I fears around, all these things that I had to work through, they were just obstacles that I myself believed in and created or allowed myself to. Um, you know, just focus on instead of seeing what else was possible. And so that has been a beautiful revelation to me, for lack of a better word, in just a couple of hours of sleep. So go with me here. Um, and so I wanted to share briefly just a couple of things that, um, I’ll talk about in future episodes more deeply in and in ways that, um, hopefully you can kind of pull from and, and taken for yourself too. But it’s so interesting how our kids are so different and also what we go through with each kid can be so different.
12:35 So with Skylyn, who’s 19 months old, um, I had this crash course in surrender, like surrender had never been in my vocabulary before. I did not care for it. I didn’t even like the word. And then all of a sudden it was just pure surrender. Um, I had all these thoughts of everything I wanted to accomplish before she came into our lives before she, um, was born as well. I wanted to like write a book. I wanted to have a certain goal set and accomplish for my business, like all these different things and I was trying to push myself and it was just a surrender to the season, to my body, the energy that I did or didn’t have. Um, so that was just really interesting in itself. And then the other part of Sky’s, uh, birth and coming earth side that, um, was gifted to me was the, being able to learn about boundaries, boundaries with other people and, and keeping and, and kind of preserving my energy and also that of Sky who in the midst of it either was about to be born or after she was born.
13:50 Boundaries was a big thing that I had never really had set for myself. I have always, uh, challenged or not challenged. I’ve always struggled with being a people pleaser. And so starting to have these boundaries not only supported her, but in turn they supported and nurtured me. So that was really beautiful with quest. On the other hand, um, there was like a next level surrender, um, and a whole new set of fears, right? Because it was having a second kid, um, was a cadence disruptor for me. I had figured out, you know, how to be this parent for one and you know, then she was in daycare. So that was awesome. And then, um, here comes, you know, kid number two and more expenses and then more having to figure and, and plan and, and orchestrate right around the house. And it left me feeling like, okay, well what about what I want?
14:49 What about what it is that I want to create? Who I want to be in this world? How will that look different? How will I look different? How will I feel different with having two kids? So I’m in that journey right now and, um, it’s been really cool to be able to honor those feelings and also honor these beings that are in my life and, uh, continued to honor what it is that I want to create here. And so that’s what more than a parent is about as well. It’s how do we do all the things that we want to, that we choose to and um, you know, being present in, in those different areas. The other thing that quest has taught me is, um, expectations. So, uh, Sky’s birth was like we know three or four hours it was in water and it was like just super just chill.
15:40 Quest on the other hand, still a water birth as well, which was really awesome. Um, but he totally took like 17 freaking hours, like, like five times longer. And it was funny because, um, hypnobirthing and meditation were a big part of, uh, the way that I gave birth. But with him, what kept on spiking up for me was expectations and expectations can be super sneaky and we’ll, we’ll talk about that in a whole other episode. Right. Cause there, there’s just a lot there. But because of my expectations of what I had experienced with Sky’s birth, I couldn’t stay in the zone. I couldn’t stay and just meditate and experience his birth way that it was because I kept on thinking, well, why isn’t he here yet? Because I had these expectations of what the labor would be like. So anyway. And then the last thing with class that I thought was really cool and um, definitely noteworthy to mention as far as the evolution of mean and how it supported me in, um, what came up was creativity and risk.
16:43 Like I had this energy of, you know, what the time is now, why wait? So I literally left my job and I was around six months pregnant and which meant no insurance and no safety net. Right. Um, I was not necessarily, it wasn’t a planned thing, so I wasn’t set up for, um, you know, like having a savings and all this other stuff in place. I just knew that I needed to birth my business and, um, birth this podcast and everything together because the time was now. And I also knew that there was a timing with Sky being the only child for just a little bit longer. So I chose and I, I talked to my husband and we made the decision to go ahead and have me be home and be present for what was most important, which was Sky and then time to have me have time for myself before becoming a parent of two.
17:37 So, um, part of all of this is, um, based around limitations. Again, like nothing’s a limitation unless you believe it is. Um, or not everything is, you know what I mean? Okay. So anyway, so with that, I feel like part of my life’s work is to, um, not only continue to discover, uncover and work through my own limitations, my own limiting beliefs. Um, but I freaking love working with people and helping them go through and, and, and um, get to the other side of their own limitations or what they perceive as limitation. Um, I really believe that resilience and resourcefulness are one of the top values that we can, we can have an activate in our lives, cause you never know why things happen the way that they do. So, you know, if I didn’t have these limitations or these feelings of limitations in my life, we wouldn’t be having this podcast right now.
18:33 Right. We wouldn’t be having the conversations that we will have. So that was my really long why, but I wanted to share that. I felt like it was really important to let you know. Um, what was the catapult to get us here today? So as far as what, um, this podcast is about. I have been a long time fan of Pat Flynn from smart passive income and um, he said once on an episode, um, he talked about the baby effect. I’m not sure if you’ve heard about that. The baby effect has something to do with like, once you know you’re having a kid or once they’re actually here, you tend to somehow focus and get more done faster because of the baby effect. Right? Like I guess you just have less time to dilly dally. I just wanted to say it like that cause I think it’s funny, but anyway, you have less time to just, you know, chill and just be like, yeah, you know, I’ll just get this done later.
19:37 Like you just like know, like they’re gonna wake up in a little bit. This is a nap time empire. We’re going to get it done right now. Right. Like the whole down is better than perfect. Um, is, is part of the baby effect. And so the, what this podcast is about is how are people making it happen? You know, what’s working for me, what’s working for other people and what’s not working, but maybe it works for you. How do we help you, um, in getting your own baby effect and, and, and getting what you want to be doing, have out there and feel it. Um, the other reason for the what of this podcast. Um, so I interviewed a lot of moms and, um, we had about an hour, hour and a half sit down related to what it meant to them to be more than a parent and what challenges they were having and what they’re aspiring to have and to feel like with having kids and just the, the, the struggles.
20:34 Like, you know, it’s freaking hard sometimes, you know, um, having a, an idea of what you want, but then, you know, being pulled in different directions because of what their needs are and how much they truly, um, are needing us in this moment and being able to ebb and flow between that. So I interviewed these moms and you know, one thing that came up was, um, they really wanted to create their purpose or find their purpose, um, because they didn’t want to have to wait till their kids were five, six, or eight years old to start really living who they are, you know, and, and what’s in them to come out. Um, and to become right. And I mean, some people obviously, um, they kind of put themselves aside, their identity aside and, and what they want to create in this world until their kids are out of the house, right.
21:26 And off to college. And that whole empty nesters, sin, empty nester piece comes into place. And it’s like, why do we have to wait? There’s no need to wait unless you choose that. But you can totally start working on those things. Now. That is the what of this podcast because you’re worth it and you can do it. You can be it, all those things now it’s just a matter of time and just getting started. So that’s why we here periodt. Like Madea would say. But anyway, so, um, the last thing I wanted to share about the, what of this podcast is that this is not a parenting podcast. Um, however, parenting is woven into it. Um, the way that we are able to be present and, um, work with our kids and our family in order to also support what it is that we’re wanting to create, um, is really important.
22:22 Right? Like you can’t have one without the other, at least in my opinion. And um, you want to be a transparent, well, let me put it like that. Like this, I don’t know what you want, but I know that for me, I want to be transparent and be who I am in all the areas of my life. So in order for me to really create and be all these things that I want to be outside of my home, I want to make sure that in my home I’m being that same person and I’m supporting my family in the same way. I want to support those outside of my home. Um, I want to have impact in and outside of my house. And that’s also something that came up for those that I interviewed. So that’s what this podcast will also addresses is how do we be in dual these things and feel like not necessarily balanced because that, you know, it’s kind of a myth.
23:14 And, um, it’s really to me about integration, you know, having a certain intention and then having that integrated into the areas of your life will give you that impact that you’re wanting to have and to be. So, um, with that being said, some, uh, general topics that you’re going to hear about is about self awareness, really diving in and digging into who it is that we are and that we’re being so that we can continue to develop into our best selves. Um, but also guys, ladies, ladies, it is so important to look at our self compassion because Holy smokes for not, you know, cursing on here yet. Um, may happen some times, you know, whatever. But anyway, um, self-compassion is such a thing that I think I myself can do a lot more with. And I feel as moms, we have compassion with everyone else and sometimes not ourselves.
24:16 Um, so as we’re in this journey together, um, please love yourself and, and give yourself grace. Like, man, you are thinking about so many different things at once and your mind is like this most amazing computer. And so as you’re working through all these things and certain things may slip or you may have to choose one thing over the other in the moment, give yourself compassion, grace, flexibility, no, that you’re super supported by the universe, by God. And that like, you got this, you’re doing it, you’re being it. It’s not a matter of black or white, you know, like it’s not just you are doing it or you’re not doing it, like just go with you’re being it and you’re in flow because Parenthood is a flow man. Um, and the last piece is self commitment. So I know for myself, I’ve, I’ve observed that um, discipline can be a super challenge when it comes to things that I want to do because of what everyone else needs of me and my house.
25:23 Um, or outside of my house when I had my, my job. And so self commitment is looking at what it is that you want to have and committing to yourself. So the discipline comes in later and the discipline is like a, you know, kind of more of like, okay, I’m doing the things. But the commitment is that that fire that keeps you going regardless if, you know, one day becomes a skip day for something that you wanted to do or it just took a little bit longer, just continue to have and to remember that commitment you have to yourself, have that compassion for flexibility and that awareness and like you’ll totally continue on this journey and you’ll start seeing the fruits of what it is that you’re working on for yourself. You’re perfect and everything is, is perfect in the way that it’s creating itself.
26:18 Um, so when, and where of this podcast? Well, here we are. So when is, when is here, where is here? I mean, and then the, when is on weekly, we will be having this podcast weekly. Um, and as far as values that are gonna be, um, that I hope in that my intentions are set forth for you to experience and, uh, for you to connect to through this podcast is resilience and resourcefulness. Humor. Because as you heard, I’m kind of, you know, I’m silly. I’m the value around family and transparency as well as freedom. That freedom can mean whatever it means to you, whether that’s having a business or you know, choosing your hours in your career or whatever impact you want to make. Having the freedom and the power of choice to choose those things. So why join us? What are the expectations for this podcast?
27:15 And this is the last segment. So good, excited. Woo. We’re almost done with episode number one. Um, and I’m totally, by the way, recording this during nap time at my house. So I have like baby monitors around me and, uh, the world is great. So anyway, why join us? And we’re gonna have some amazing people that we’re going to be interviewing that are parents that they’re nurturing themselves first and in turn they’re being able to nurture their families and then the greater community, right? The greater globe around them. Um, we’ll be talking about what’s working and what’s not working so much, but the, what’s not working so much for them may work for you. So it’s gonna be really fun to explore those different avenues with these different people. And, um, they’re going to be moms, parents from different walks of life. I’m different expertise in education.
28:04 I don’t know if expertise is a word, but it is now. Um, and then again, this is just an example. Um, I want this podcast to be an example for you of what’s possible and that you’re able to know that it’s possible for you. Right? It’s not just like, Oh, that’s cool that she was able to do that or whatever. It’s like, man, like this is possible for me too. So that’s my, my hope for you. The last piece is community. Um, a friend of mine at when I workshops, um, talked about community being like common unity. And I thought that was beautiful because I want us to have common unity together, about, you know, all the things that are required in order for us to be more than a parent. And um, being able to support each other in this life journey. This experience is a very human experience as we are also raising humans.
28:59 Um, and so with that being said, I would love for you to join a new common unity, a new community that I’ve created for us. And it’s a More Than A Parent dot. M N dot. Co so that’s More Than A Parent all spelled out. Dot. M as in Mary, N as in Nancy. Dot. Co C. O (MoreThanAParent.mn.co) So thank you for joining me on our first ever episode. I am so grateful for who it is that you are and for your time invested into hearing what is to come here. And I really hope that you stick around. I hope that you share with me, you know, people that you want to have interviewed, things that you want to learn and grow and dive into more because this space is a totally co-created space. I don’t have any agenda besides coming to support you and also being able to, um, empower you and also be empowered by you because you’re freaking awesome. Thanks for listening to this episode of more than a parent to be your more live here and continue the conversation with us and connect at More Than A Parent dot M N. dot. C O. (MoreThanAParent.mn.co)